Dear Chuckles, Part 10

Dear Chuckles,

It's been 5 weeks since I lost you. I miss you so much. Every time Josh leaves the apartment and I'm alone, I miss you even more. When I was cleaning things out yesterday, I was thinking about you the whole time, and wishing you were here to get underfoot and make me laugh, to be goofy and dance around the apartment with me. Even the building maintenance guys said that it feels strange here without you. You touched more people than you know, pup.

I want you to know that as part of our wedding favors, we'll be donating to the Humane Society in your memory. It doesn't bring you back, and it doesn't change the fact that I'm lost without you, but it's something.

It was thundering before, and it made me cry. Because my first thought upon hearing the thunder was "oh no, poor Chuckles." But then it kicked in that you're not here, so you're not afraid of the thunder anymore. As a matter of fact, perhaps you caused it while galloping after the hordes of squirrels I'm sure you're torturing.

I think about you all the time. And I know that I'll never stop missing you.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Chuckles, Part 9

Dear Chuckles,

So guess what I found stuck under the TV stand in the bedroom? One more tennis ball. Yep, another one. I'm thinking this is the last one though, so I labeled it and will keep in it your honor. One of my friends said that this is your way of sending me love. I like that. Thank you, boy. I love you too.

That's right, 101.

In other news, I've started called Trixie CatDog because she's been doing many more things lately more suited to a dog than a cat. She always mimicked you, but now it's like she's trying to fill the void you left. She runs to the door to greet us when we come home now. She wants tons of belly rubs. She'll throw herself on our feet upside down so we rub her belly. It's eerily almost exactly what you would do. She begs for dinner at 8pm on the dot every single night. She follows me everywhere, as you used to. And she attempts to police me at night when my insomnia is keeping me awake, just like you used to. If she thinks it's too late, she meows and paws at me until I give in and go to bed, and then she follows me into the bedroom and cuddles with me. She misses you, boy.

I miss you, too. I know I'll always miss you.

Love,
Mommy

Kiss Nail Dress

Fashion That Sticks
Introducing Kiss Nail Dress, ultimate nail fashion for tips and toes! Just peel, apply, and shape for a manicure that lasts up to 10 days. On in minutes, off in seconds without remover. Nail Dress is available in 18 different styles, many of them featuring 3-dimensional jeweled designs. Check out Peplum, a deep black with multi-colored gems for a pop of color, or Babydoll, for a golden and glamorous jeweled look. Skip the topcoat, Nail Dress has it built in.

With 28 strips in each package, you can cut up your extras to create designs that can be used on top of polished or artificial nails. Nail Dress doesn’t dry out the way other polish strips can, so you can save them to use on your next DIY mani. A nail design booklet is included in each package, just in case you need a little inspiration.

And don’t forget about your feet! Nail Dress looks awesome on toes, too – just use the square side of the sticker for a perfect fit.

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I recently received a complimentary package of Kiss Nail Dress for review & testing purposes through the Influenster program, which you should also check out. The design I received is called "Shrug," which makes no sense but doesn't really matter. At the time I applied them, my nails were pretty long, which in my opinion made them look even cooler. Several of my nails have broken since then, but that's my own fault. I'm hell on my nails. And rings. I can screw up any ring I wear. But I digress...

These were honestly really easy to apply. You choose the correct size for your nail, position it where you want it, and smooth it down, folding the leftover over the end of your nail. Quick tip: the packaging does not tell you this, but I found it to be much easier when I used a scissor to trim the leftover first, and then file the rest off. Once you do a couple, it becomes easier and goes faster. 

Here's what mine looked like when I was done applying:

Kiss Nail Dress in "Shrug"

Looks pretty awesome, right? I love them. Got a ton of compliments on them, and quite a few people asked me if I had it done at a nail salon. They lasted about 6 days before I noticed any chipping or wear at all, which is pretty good in my opinion. Super easy to remove, too! Simply peel, and they come off in one piece. If some of the leftover adhesive sticks to your nail, nail polish remover takes care of that, as I discovered. :)

Now that I've tried them, I want to try the zebra and leopard designs and oh so many others. I love doing my own nails. But let's be honest, this was way easier and less messy than polish (plus no nail polish smell), and at $6.99 a pop, pretty affordable.

Hot pink zebra nails, here I come!

Dear Chuckles, Part 8

Dear Chuckles,

It was exactly 3 weeks ago today that I lost you, my sweet boy.

Today I cleaned up the rest of your toys, and it sucked. I won't lie and pretend that I didn't sit on the floor hugging your duck (you know, the one you loved so much that you ate its beak off) and crying. I did. For a very long time.
But then, as I was moving some of the other toys aside so I could stand up, I found 2 stray tennis balls. And I just started laughing. Tears still streaming down my face, still hugging the duck, but laughing all the same. That brings your grand total to exactly 100 tennis balls, Chuck. You crazy mutt.

I was already very sad today to begin with because it was absolutely beautiful out, the kind of day I would have taken you for a ride in the car just for the hell of it, or maybe taken you to Grandma's to wreak havoc in the backyard. But I can't do those things anymore (although technically I guess you did get to come for the ride when I went to the store, since I'm wearing my pendant). Living without you isn't getting any easier.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Chuckles, Part 7

Dear Chuckles,

Grandma told me today that ever since we put a piece of you in her backyard, she's had more squirrels than ever running around. It made me smile more than anything has for the past 2 weeks, because in my head I was picturing a ghost version of you gleefully chasing the squirrels all over the yard while Grandma looks on and wonders why the hell there are squirrels everywhere.

I hope you're chasing all the squirrels you want, boy.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Chuckles, Part 6

Dear Chuckles,

Today it was so beautiful outside that I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood, which I haven't done since the last time I walked you. So I walked along the path we called your "long walk," and pictured you in my head the entire way. I could see you sniffing every bush, peeing on every tree, trying to pull me across the street because you saw another dog. I could see you stopping to sniff the wind, chasing a squirrel unfortunate enough to cross your path, and running up to the neighbor's porch to visit (and for a cookie, of course).

And despite the beautiful weather, I did cry, but the sun dried my tears. Because I miss you, sweet boy. I miss you so very much.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Chuckles, Part 5

Dear Chuckles,

On Friday, we brought you to Grandma's to leave a piece of you there in your favorite backyard/personal dog park. On the ride over I kept picturing you with your head out the car window, big happy smile on your face, drool running down the outside of the car, ears flapping in the wind. The memory made me happy and sad at the same time.

Happy car dog! This one is from 2008.

We put you under what Grandma calls "the squirrel tree," which I thought to be perfect for you, since you had a personal vendetta against all squirrels and made it your business to chase at least one up a tree every day.

Josh and I also got pendants to wear in which we placed pieces of you. I didn't even know such a thing existed, but I thought it was a wonderful idea, and so did Josh. So now you and I will never be apart again, and you can't bitch at me for not taking you out, since you'll be with me every time I go anywhere.

My pendant.

The vet's office sent a beautiful card along with your paw print and a clipping of your fur. I cried, of course, because it made me wish even harder that I could pet you again. I miss you so much, and I can't believe it hasn't even been 2 weeks since I lost you. Every time I'm at the computer I can picture you coming down the hallway, walking up to the computer chair and pushing all of your weight into my leg so I'd scratch your butt. You always made me smile.

The other night all of the dogs in our courtyard were barking at something or other, and I could have sworn I heard your tough-guy bark in there somewhere.

Your presence was so much larger than life that it seems very empty here now. I realized the other night that if you were 14, that means I was 22 when we found you. Holy shit, boy. You and I went through so much together, and through it all you were my anchor in this crazy fucked up world. Saving you was the best thing I ever did, because you saved me right back, didn't you?

I love you Chuckles.

Love,
Mommy