I don't normally play the lottery (remember that for later in the post). Mostly it's just laziness about remembering to buy tickets, but it's also partially because it always seems to me that the winner is some redneck somewhere in middle America living in a trailer with 100 kids, and hell, I need to keep every dollar I can anyway.
Yesterday my mother called me specifically to tell me that I needed to play the Mega Millions because it was up to $247 million or some such ridiculousness. So, I figured what the hell, and on the way home from work I stopped at a Quick Chek that I always stop at, and where most of the cashiers know me, and proceeded to ask the kid behind the register for a quick pick for the Powerball. He printed it out and then he goes "You know, you should probably be playing the Mega Millions, it's up to like $240 million." To which I responded "Shit! That was what I was supposed to get!" So now we have an 18-year-old kid laughing at a totally spaced out commuter, apparently. Then I decided to be adventurous and pick my own numbers for one of the tickets. My mistake.
I had to ask the fucking kid for help.
I'm looking at this paper with a zillion numbers on it and thinking to myself "I have no fucking idea what I'm supposed to do here, am I really going to have to ask this kid for help?" Yeah, I totally needed to ask the kid for help.
So he explains it to me, I say "Not obvious at all that I never play the lottery, is it?" making him laugh at me yet again. Then I fill the damn thing out and end up paying for 2 Mega Millions tickets and 1 Powerball ticket (because he had already printed it out and I felt bad).
After that fiasco, I called my mother on my way home to tell her the story, since really it was all her fault anyway. She laughed so hard she practically choked, and thanked me for the laugh. That made me smile, and made the whole thing almost worth it.