Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Dear Chuckles, Part 15

Dear Chuckles,

It's been 6 months today, August 21.
That's half a year since I lost you, and I miss you every day.
This summer has been so hard, getting used to not doing the things I used to do with you. One of the things I missed the most was taking you to run around Grandma's backyard like it was your own private dog park, attack the hose and deflate the basketball, or soccer ball, or whatever you could find. Those were always my favorite days. Just me and you hanging out in the sunshine, playing and being happy. Like this....


And I miss taking you to the beach and watching you do this to the water:

video

Watching both of those videos just made me laugh and cry at the same time.

As rough as it's been getting used to doing things without you, I know there are some even rougher times ahead...Halloween, when you'd hang out on the balcony with me and sniff all the kids I gave candy to...Thanksgiving, when I'd always bring you home turkey from Grandma's...Christmas...well I can't even think about Christmas without you knocking the ornaments off the tree or happily humping your new basketball under the tree.

I recently saw this picture on Facebook and was so touched by it I cried for a good hour:

So true.
Every time Trixie rolls over for a belly rub, I feel you. When I hear a big dog bark, I feel you. The other day when I realized there are still muddy paw prints all over the back seat of my car, I felt you giving me that big happy puppy smile. And sometimes, when I'm upset, I swear I can feel you pushing your big head into me, trying to cheer me up.
I love you Chuckles.

Love,
Mommy

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