Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Other 30-Something Couple Who Mostly Keep to Themselves

It was nice out today, which of course brings all the annoying people out of the woodwork, so I wasn't surprised when I heard yelling outside the apartment. When I looked, it turned out to be the guy I call Loud Smelly Guy. That's when I realized that, aside from Upstairs Douchebag and one-half of The Nice Older Cuban Couple (I know the husband's name, but not the wife's), I know not one of my courtyard neighbors' names. Instead, I refer to them all by descriptive names I've made up along the way, such as Loud Smelly Guy, Upstairs Douchebag, and The Nice Older Cuban Couple. The other courtyard dwellers have been dubbed as follows:

Overly Tan Boat Shoes Guy
The Nice Old Lady Who Calls Me Nicole
The 20-Something Couple Who Mostly Keep to Themselves
The People Who Like to Stare in My Windows
The Old Russian Couple Who Hates Me Because My Former Upstairs Neighbor Was Their Friend
Cute New Guy With the Great Ass
One of the Maintenance Guys for the Complex and His Brother
The People Who Were Displaced by Hurricane Sandy
The Quiet Older Puerto Rican Couple
The Family of Indeterminate Race With Seemingly a Thousand Obnoxious Kids
The 30-Something Couple Who Mostly Keep to Themselves
Whoever Lives in the Last Apartment on the Bottom Level (because I truly I have no idea)

I'm sure I have a similar descriptive name in some people's minds (I actually heard someone call me "The Girl With the Big Dog and the Big Tattoos" once while I was walking Chuck).

Does it suck that I don't have one neighbor I'd trust enough to give my key to for an emergency, or even to ask to take in my mail if I'm not home? Sure. Is it sad that none of us feel the need to learn each other's names? A little. It might even be a commentary on today's society, but I can't be bothered to go that deep with it right now. Sure, I'd love to have neighbors Josh and I could be friends with, barbecue with, whatever. And maybe someday that will happen for us. Just not now, not here in this apartment complex. For now, we're The Other 30-Something Couple Who Mostly Keep to Themselves. And we're ok with that.


  1. Awesome, so I'm not the only one who does this. We've got:

    • Next Door Neighbor Assholes Who Think They Own the World
    • Next Door Awesome Neighbors Who Are Possibly Mormon (I know their names)
    • Cool Guy with Young Daughter (even though he does have a wife there we never saw her- they just moved)
    • People Who Started the Fire and Lied about It, aka The Assholes Downstairs
    • Two Guys Pretending Not to be a Couple
    • Old Lady With Two White Cats (she has a man there too, he is Guy Who Forgets One of the Cats Wanders Outside if He Leaves the Door Open)
    • Extremely Rude Lady Who Cusses People in Spanish and Hogs All the Laundry Machines at Once
    • Crazy Old Man (he isn't really crazy that I know of, I just always see him doing odd things)
    • Older Couple that Seems Terrified of Us All
    • Cool Geeky Couple With Four Cats
    • Rude Lady with Small Children and Big TV (she refuses to close her blinds and lives on the bottom floor facing the entryway)

    1. Awesome! So glad I'm not the only one who does it! :)