Saturday, December 22, 2012

Not exactly in the Christmas spirit?

This time of year, most people make lists of things they're thankful for, or perhaps a list of resolutions for the new year. Me? Not so much. I know what I'm thankful for; I don't need a list. And I don't make New Year's resolutions. So for those of you out there, like me, who may be feeling a bit Grinch-y this year, I give you instead a list of Things That Piss Me Off. These are in no particular order, and I only stopped at 12 because, you know, 12 Days of Christmas and all that jazz. Enjoy, and Happy Holidays! 

1. Teeny tiny pregnant women who insist on posting their adorably teeny tiny baby bumps all over Instagram/Facebook/insert random social media site here. Every.Single.Week.
Just stop. I understand you're excited to be pregnant, I would be too. And I have nothing against skinny women, it just seems that the majority who are guilty of this happen to be super-thin to begin with, their bumps nearly non-existent. But honestly, do I need to see a picture of your belly every week? It looks exactly the same as it did last week, in case you were wondering. Maybe try spacing them out to once a month. 

2. People who are not handicapped but park in handicapped parking spots.
You are a douche.

3. People who create internet memes with spelling mistakes in them. 
If you're going to take the time to create a meme, at least use spell check or something. Damn. 

Find the annoying typo.

4. People whose only photos on Instagram/Streamzoo/insert random photo sharing network here are only of themselves. 
Ten thousand shots of you in your bathroom mirror. No thanks. Go outside, take a picture of a flower or something. 

5. HBO/Starz/Encore/insert other movie channel here.
There are only so many times I can watch Titanic and Bad Teacher. Start rotating your movies more frequently. Thanks.

6. The end of the world on the internet.
Yes, we all know the world did not end, obviously. But holy shit, for days leading up to 12/21/12, I was sorely tempted to delete several people from my Facebook newsfeed. It was almost as bad as the days leading up to an election. Almost. And now that the world did not end, people won't stop posting about that. Enough already.

7. Winter.
I hate the cold. I hate snow. I hate everything involving the cold and snow.

8. Super vague promos for new TV shows.
How about showing me something that actually tells me something about the show, so I can decide whether or not I want to watch it?

9. The Yankees' signing of Kevin Youkilis.
From yankees.comKevin Youkilis hopes that he'll receive a positive reception when he bats for the first time at Yankee Stadium wearing pinstripes. Of course, he won't really be able to tell for sure.
"I'd guess they're all going to sound the same," Youkilis said. "It will be all mixed in, so I'm going to take it as they're all saying, 'Youk.'"
It's cute that he thinks that. But I'm gonna go with "Boo."

10. The absence of hockey this year.
Football and basketball bore the shit out of me. I look forward to hockey season. But this year the NHL fucked it up. And instead of just coming out and canceling the entire season, they're canceling it in increments. For example, from nhl.comThe National Hockey League announced today the cancellation of the 2012-13 regular-season schedule through January 14. The cancellations are necessary due to the absence of a new Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NHL Players' Association and the NHL. A total of 625 regular-season games—50.8 percent of the season—were scheduled for October 11 through January 14.
Yeah, I think it's safe to say there's just no hockey this year. So just say it. 

Sad hockey player. :(
11. When my DVR cuts off the last 30 seconds of a show, and you just know you missed something  funny or important. 
So fucking annoying. 

12. People with an undeserved sense of entitlement.
The world doesn't owe you shit. Work for it like everyone else.

No comments:

Post a Comment